


Cold and Hot

by mmmdraco



Category: Daria (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Misses Clause Challenge, Podfic Available
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-23
Updated: 2012-12-23
Packaged: 2017-11-22 04:42:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/605930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmmdraco/pseuds/mmmdraco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Lawndale High has a snow day, Daria retreats to a safe place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cold and Hot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [angelsaves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsaves/gifts).



> This work was podficced as part of the [Awesome Ladies Podfic Anthology III](http://halfamoon.livejournal.com/307398.html). Listen [here](http://bessyboo.parakaproductions.com/Podbooks/Awesome%20Ladies%20Podfic%20Anthology%20III/%5bDaria%5d%20Cold%20and%20Hot.mp3).

Daria stomped as much of the snow off of her boots as possible and shoved past Jane into the Lane household. Jane grinned. "Yo, amiga, decided to throw caution to the wind?"

Looking down at her bare legs beneath her black skirt, Daria sighed. "No. I decided that I needed to get out of the house before my mother went stir-crazy and decided to brave the snow."

"I thought you said you were going to be home alone?" Jane closed the door behind Daria to keep out the fine particles of snow blowing through the air.

Daria sighed again. "Her office decided to close at the last minute. This _automatically_ means that she's going to go stir-crazy. When I was leaving, she was trying to convince Quinn to go to the mall with her."

"And the princess lived happily ever after?" Jane led the way to her room.

"The princess has chapped lips after her ice skating date last night and refuses to show herself in public. I didn't want to stick around for the aftermath." Jane gestured to the bed and Daria sat down and frowned before grabbing the quilt and piling it onto her legs. "When I was a kid, snow days sucked because I didn't get to go to school. Now they suck either way."

Jane snorted and sat down next to Daria, grabbing the quilt and spreading it across both of their laps. "I've always loved snow days for their ability to let me go back to sleep and then to make things in the snow. You think sand castles are amazing? Snow castles are even better. You can fill some spritz bottles with food coloring and make it look like they're on fire."

"Once I'm awake, I like to pretend that it was for a reason. The ennui I feel about waking up because of a blaring appliance that I technically instigated and then checking the news while eating breakfast only to find that my day is utterly without reason... I'm pretty sure this is how Tesla felt."

"That line was coiled and ready to strike." Jane tried to keep a straight face as long as she could, but let a huff of laughter pass through her nostrils.

Daria took off her glasses and cleaned them with the corner of the quilt. "Lane, that was horrible."

"Says the woman who once made a joke about how anyone who's an Iron Chef must technically be female."

Rolling her eyes, Daria poked Jane's arm. "I will let you off with a pun _warning_."

Jane grabbed the remote on her nightstand suddenly and turned up the volume just as a woman in a purple wetsuit pulled an octopus out of a fish tank and started to slide it onto her head. _"Are octopuses stealing your oxygen while you swim and using it to perfect a bomb? Eight-legged Einsteins, next on SICK SAD WORLD!"_ Jane leaned back on the bed and shook her head. "Upchuck has a hand in that, I'm sure." She stretched out her legs and one of them brushed past Daria's calf. "Holy- Geez, Daria! How are you still so cold?"

Daria tucked the quilt around her legs and frowned. "Because there's practically a blizzard outside and I walked over here in a skirt?"

Jane reached down and grabbed Daria's legs and pulled them up onto her lap, tucking the quilt in around them and hugging them close to her chest. Daria squirmed in an attempt to free herself, but Jane frowned. "Daria, you are not getting frostbite on my watch."

"I can't see the TV," Daria said, leaning back on her elbows and frowning. 

Jane stuck out her tongue. "You've seen this episode already. Just let me warm you up!"

Daria's brow furrowed. "I can think of better ways than taking my legs hostage."

"Really?" Jane let one arm duck under the quilt and let her fingers trail along the back of Daria's thigh to rest against the back of her knee. Daria squirmed and kicked her feet slightly, her boot catching Jane's elbow. "Augh!" She let go of Daria's legs and clutched at her injury, turning a murderous glare toward Daria.

"That is _not_ my fault," Daria said as she pulled her legs off of Jane's lap. She kicked off the quilt and went through the process of taking off her boots. "You _tickled_ me. I cannot be held accountable for my reactions under those conditions."

Jane stretched out her arm and winced. "Yeah, well, if that leaves a mark, Morgendorffer..."

"Then I'll consider it fair market value for you assaulting me."

With a smirk, Jane nudged her knee against Daria's. "You're warmer now though, aren't you?"

"Not really," Daria said as she used her foot to push her boots off to the side and wrapped her legs up again. "You should go make hot chocolate. And maybe order a pizza."

" _I_ should? And what makes you want to inflict this weather on the poor pizza guy?"

"You should because my bootprint ended up on your elbow and not your ass where it belongs, and the extra tip money in my pocket says the poor pizza guy wants to be not as poor and will be quite happy to bring us anything we want."

"Chocolate and pizza? How pedestrian of you."

"I am a regular Philistine." Daria shivered. "Get on that and then come back. Make it quick."

"Aww, are you gonna miss me that much?" Jane stood up and moved toward the door.

Daria quirked a hint of a smile. "No, I'm going to use your lap like the furnace it is."

"...Are you saying my crotch is hot or something?" Jane tilted her head to the side.

Shaking her head, Daria pointed to the doorway. "Just get in the kitchen and make me some hot chocolate?"

Jane walked back over toward the bed and picked up the phone handset and handed it to Daria. "Only if you'll call in the pizza."

Daria raised an eyebrow. "Well played, Lane."

" _And_ I get one more time to tickle you, sans beatings."

"You just want to touch my legs, don't you?" Daria snorted.

Jane froze, then smiled. "And if I am?"

"What made you think that you needed to scheme up a reason?" Daria lifted one edge of the quilt and showed off one shin with red marks still showing from where the edges of her boot tongue had dug in.

"Ooo, baby!" Jane pointed to Daria. "Call about the pizza. And don't go getting anything weird out of spite."

"Anchovies, pineapple and eyeballs it is." 

Jane rolled her eyes. "Always with the eyeballs."

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Cold and Hot [podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/696477) by [klb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/klb/pseuds/klb)




End file.
